Journals53
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Yeahh this is...
1 min read
This ridiculous! DO NOT Click that link! Most likely a scammer or hacker trying to get to people. If you ever get a note like this, block the person and send this message out.
Have a great and please be safe!
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The Haunted Library Introduction
1 min read
I'm very excited to introduce my new spooky series that I've been planning for a few weeks now. The Haunted Library, is a series with me as it's main host/narrator. Here, you can enter scary stories and on my Patreon where it will be mostly posted on. I hope you enjoy <3 and happy reading.
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April Requests?
1 min read
Been mighty bored and drained of ideas.
Its because of work lol
So for this month Ill open 5 slots for requests.
Starting tomorrow Ill open them.
They will be the same rules as my commissions list;
Do's:
-Females
-Males
-Possibly Furries, I'm practicing
-LGBT
-Collabs
-References
-Fanart
Dont's:
-NSFW
-Gore
-Hate Art
-Fetishes
-Mechas
The requests slots will be open tomorrow until 8am- 8pm.
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Re-writing ADOH
2 min read
I'll be honest...the story was really going downhill for some time.
I remember coming up with the idea years ago heh
It started off as a cute roleplay between me and a close friend, but, after years of roleplaying it with them, I saw potential of it being an actual story.
And so I wrote A Drop of Hope.
At first, I enjoyed writing it, I remember looking back on the RP for references and things I forgot or how the characters were like. I ended up having the characters have deeper backgrounds, and the story be more complex.
I loved it.
But I only wrote the story as a way to escape the reality of my home life.
Most of you (probably) know by now that my home life with my mother wasnt all that great. And I wrote ADOH as a way to escape her harsh words and the reality of life as a whole. I enjoyed escaping into Traverse, ACTUALLY feeling like I was in the characters body and living their experience.
But, after some time I sort of felt distant towards it. The relationship between my mother and I was getting worse and reality needed me more. I had to find a job, and I was busy with college. I...I didnt love ADOH as much as I did anymore.
And I deeply regret putting it aside for so long.
So, when the time is right, Ill re-write most of the chapters, Ill even re-write part two of ADOH, because that was a fucking mess.
I wanna continue this series because I still love it. It was the first original story I came up with, and I still love it to this day.
But, with that, Have a great day my Lovelies
Love you~ 
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My Toxic Relative
5 min read
By my last post most of you now know who my toxic relative is by now. My Mother.
I'll start from the beginning.
When my Mother had my sister and I, everything was great. She was loving, caring, but she knew when to scold us when needed heh.
Now, this is important.
Years ago I still had my grandmother on my mom's side. My Grandma was the sweetest, kindest, most gentle woman you would have ever met. She loved me sister and I to bits and pieces...But, my Grandma was married to my asshole of a Grandfather--Dont get me wrong, he also loved my sister and I, but my god he was an ASSHOLE to a T. He and my mom butted heads to no end. They would always argue and bicker of the stupidest shit ever.
We questioned still on how my Grandma even dealt with my Grandfather for those years.
It wasn't until I was I think 5 or 6, when we heard the news of my Grandma passing. She was sick. Very sick, and she was never able to recover.
But, because of this. My mom thought that she died because of her care and kindness.
Lemme repeat that. My mother saw Kindness and love as a weakness.
And from then on, my mother changed.
Rules became stricter, my friends were judged, and not to mention the mind games.
She played me most of all like a god damn fiddle. For years I was on medication, unable to think for myself, unable to make my own decisions, unable to talk about my problems and my demons constantly pounding at my head and heart...Everything I did for those years was for her own selfish wants and needs.
I was becoming just like her.
And when she and my Father split, she blamed me and my sister.
She said "Our marriage was perfect, but when we had you girls, everything went to wrong."
How fucked up is that? Blaming your own children for your wrong doings...
When I was still dating my fiance, he started seeing habits I picked up from her. Bad habits. And thankfully he was there to help me push those habits away.
Finally, she left the apartment to me and my fiance, but not before saying some really cruel words to me. "You wanna listen to him go down a failure? Fine. Good luck, bye."
Imagine a giant cannon ball being aimed right at your stomach, and then just taking it and going into the worst kind of depression.
It hurt. It hurt so much.
After she left, we stopped talking for a bit.
My fiance helped me through the process of getting off of the medication, and he would always talk to me should I have an issue or just some little thing on my mind.
Finally, I was finding myself. I was learning about myself more and more. I actually felt free.
But, a few months, and I hear from her again.
This time I decided to try and talk to her, but...I wasnt mentally prepared. So, when I tried talking to her, she played the fucking victim card. She's the innocent one? She's not guilty of treating me like shit and filling my head with all kinds of lies and misleading information? Fucking wrong.
Here's the difference between my mother and father;
My Father; admits when he's wrong, admits he's an asshole too, but he loves my sister and I unconditionally, and would do anything to help us in any way he can. And for that I respect him. Because he knows his faults, and accepts them. And I truly love my father, for years I felt I couldn't talk to him about anything, but after we talked, I felt my bond grow truly stronger for him.
My Mother; will never admit she is wrong or sorry, she will make others feel bad and guilt them into giving her stuff or favors. She will manipulate and control you like a god damn puppet if she has to. If we ever ask for help from her she will take it as an IOU, so basically we OWE her for something minor. She's the adult and always right, and I'm the child so Im always wrong. And because of this, friends, family, and now her children won't even talk to her because of her shit ways.
I'll be honest, I am about done with her. Truly I am...but again, my fucking shoulder angel had to come around and tell me 'Dont. She needs to know. She at least should know you're going to get married soon.'
I love my mom. Despite all the shit she's done to me...I still love her. But, that doesn't mean I'm not angry at her. I'm FUMING. But, at the same time, I'm also afraid of her. It's horrible.
Sigh...There's plenty more about her but I don't think I'll go more into it...Sorry to have made this so long. Have a great day everyone. Love you <3
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